tired [22 may 2011]

Forget it. Cause its not gonna happen. I am firmly chained into the friendship space. This shit does hurt man. I hate feeling like this. Every time I want someone she leaves me or I get friended. & the ones that do like me or either ugly. Too far away or just too fucking stupid, immature or just not worth the time. Man I told myself i'd never cry over another female after the last two & here I go again. Why the fuck does this keep happening to me? I play the bad guy I havta change. I play the good guy im only a friend. Where the fuck do I stand??? Im tired of being patient. Im tired of putting my feelings on hold for everyone else. Im tired of wanting but not deserving of things that should be mine. Im tired of getting hurt. Im tired of being jealous. Im tired of being the 5th wheel. Im tired of empty promises & lopsided smiles. Im tired being slapped in the face & patted on the head in the same motion. Im tired of life not working out. Im tired of being pushed to the side for the "better" guy & getting ran back to when shit wont work. Im tired of being in the friend seat never in the boyfriends throne. But most of all im tired of being alone.