Here We Go Again...

here we go again....
i turned around, looked up and fell in love again...
it was so sweet... you and me...
it felt like a fairy tale you would be the apple of my eye
for you i would live love breathe and die
for the longest to me you felt unattainable
my attraction to you it was so unexplainable
then one day something changed
you were atually paying me attention, you called my name
i answered your call for comfort, trying to ease your pain
like him, for me i was hoping you would feel the same
but suddenly everything changed... "friendship" that was the word you said
at that moment i could have fell over dead
i feinted strength to ease your guilt
hiding the way i really felt
but i realized that we werent meant to be
at least not to you but definitely to me
but i guess i should have known it wasnt gonna be this easy
as soon as it comes love always seems to leave me
in a cloud of dust...
never really having gotten a grip
i still remember the softness of your touch, the sweet feel of your lips
on mine even thought it was so short i still enjoyed our time
i want you back make no mistake...
but i dont know how long that will take....
you know they say you dont know what youve got until its gone
but what if it just passed you by? and didnt even stay that long?
so here we go again...
love has up and left me....
these tears i have.... may stay a while...
for now i'll fake happiness....
hiding my innner pain with a crafty smile...

Silver Lining

A wise person once said to every cloud there is a silver lining
But I can't see i,t all I can feel is the storm front behind me
The clashing roar of thunder and the lightning flying through the thunderheads
The lashing rain and the howling winds on the other side of my existence
The towering thunderheads deep and dark as the emptiest midnight
Fear grips my heart and adrenaline makes my mind race swift and light
I can feel the blood dripping creeping through the cavities in my brain
What is this metamorphesis I can feel the difference this slow change

Stereotypes

Stereotypes

Why is it that people think that just because I'm black I'll die young? Do they think just because I live in the hood that I have no good in me, that there is no worth?

Why is it that people see me as strange just because I practice Islam? Is it my dress that scares you, do I threaten you?

Why is it that just because I refuse to fight that I am considered a coward? Is it because you don't know how to communicate that you shoot each other?

Why is it that just because I'm poor you think I'm unimportant? Don't I have feelings just like you?

Why is it that because I am small you think I cannot fight back? Is it because only the strong survive?

Why is that because I am smart that you think that I am not good at sports? Is it because you are afraid that I will be better than you?

Why is it that because I have a disability that you think I am helpless? Is it because I can't do all the things that you can?

Why is that because I sell my body for money you despise me? Is it because you think I chose this life?

Why is it that because I'm blond you think I'm stupid? Is it because you have seen bad examples?

Why is it that you think I'm being unfaithful because I have a special friend? Is it because you think I don't love you?

Why is it that just because I'm rich you think I am stuck up? Is it because I drive a fancy car?

Why is it that because I listen to rap music you think I am violent? Is it because you don't understand it?

Why is it that just because I am Puerto Rican, Mexican, Latin American, you think I have come to your country illegally? Is it because I will do the jobs you won't?

Why is it that because I left my wife and children I am a deadbeat? Is it because you only want to make your life better?

Why is it that because I went to jail you think I am a bad person? Is it because you're afraid of me?

Why is it that because I'm an unemployed African American man you think I am no good? Is it because you don't want me to feed my family?

Why is it that because I dropped out of school you pay me less? Is it because you think I have fewer responsibilities to my family?

Why is it because I come from the Middle East you think I am a terrorist? Is it because you just want some one to blame for 9/11?

Why is it because I am man that has feminine tendencies that you think I am a Homosexual? Is it because you are secretly homosexual too?

Why is it that because I have married outside my race that you think I disapprove of my own races women? Is it because you are jealous?

Why is it that because I am white you think my life is any easier than yours? Is it because you want to be white like me?

Why is it that because I am pregnant teenager that you think I am a slut? Is it because you think I am too young to know what is good for me?

Why is it because I am a harsh parent that you think I love you? Is it because you think I just want to ruin your life?

Why is it that because I am young black man that I am called a nigga? Is it because your past boyfriends were?

Stereotypes… Not everyone described in them fits the mold.

S.C.R.E.A.M.S.

S.ensually

C.uddle&

R.elease

E.rotically

A.nother

M.oments

S.urrender

Scorpios

Scorpios

Sexy

Secretive

Loyal

Great

Friends

can't keep his/her gaze can you?

Passionate

determined

organizers

motivated

indominatable

Strong

Loving

caring

gentle

creative

shy

quiet

not always easily understood

intelligent

crazy

deep

Bitches.

March 3rd, 2007

Bitches

Bossy 'n' Beautiful

Ignorant 'n' Irresistible

Treacherous 'n' Tasty

Cheating 'n' Classy

Hoes 'n' Honeys

Evil 'n' Enticing

Stupid 'n' Stacked

The Greatest Of Emotions, Part I, HeartAche

love is a bitch. heart break is too. she cuts deep

what do you do when your body wont sleep

and your heart aches for what was once there?

your just a lost soul of a once matching pair

how can u understand that which causes so much confusion

can you really tell when its happiness you're choosing?

these feelings... how do you know they're real?

how can i explain how i really feel?

i couldn't figure out how to tell you what i needed to say

now you will never see me the same way.

at times you made me feel the greatest joy

sometimes i think your love is all just a ploy.

your love causes me so much pain

how can i make u understand that which is so hard to explain?

my love for you undying and true

forevermore my heart i owe to you.

you were my upgrade you made me better

u were my umbrella in the stormiest weather

this felling we had we thought it was eternal

now ice has quenched this intense inferno

how is it that love is the greatest of emotions

but its such a terror that it sometimes causes explosions

feeling this feeling is what we are all hoping for

deep and dark and at times we soar

above the clouds floating among stars

thinking of times distant but yet not so far

for love we live die hate and take

can love sometimes be a grave mistake

something we will always regret

something so uneasy to forget

a emotion so simple to misunderstand

even by those called wife and man

the beginning and end of life is defined by it

my greatest wish is only to glimpse it

wondrous and full of splendor

a love like a fairytale can it endure

honesty is a simple ingredient

but today lies cause its expedient

evacuation and leaves a huge vacancy

now my heart is prosecuted for vagrancy

going where it pleases unknown to all

until once again we fall

into the greatest of emotions

Black Rose

March 16th, 2008
I Am the Black Rose
More rare than a Four Leaf Clover
Blooming only once in a lifetime
Surrounded by a bush full of
Roses the color of Blood
As majestic as a Unicorn
As mysterious as Ghosts at Midnight
Amazing in my beauty
But dangerous as a tiger
Thorns as hard as Diamonds
And sharp as a Double Edged Sword
Not as Easily forgotten
Like the most Cherished Memory
Of a Lost Loved One...

Just For The Moment

July 27th, 2008

Just for the moment I live in a cool, calm, collected pocket of bliss

On a sometimes peaceful shore on the Ocean of Life that I will sorely miss

For in the world it is fairly rare that the Waters of Life are ever calm

Because on distant horizons not yet touched there is always an ever present storm

Ready to pound and pummel away on my Pocket of Bliss in this quiet corner here

But here in my hidden place I am free to relax even knowing storms are near

Here I find solitude and calm, free from the troubles of Time, Space, and Life

Here I may lie like a lazy lizard in a not-too-warm sun without a Care

I am free to ponder the great questions of Time, Space, and Life

Until yet again I must dive into the troubled waters of War, Poverty, and Strife.

Here I am dry from the salty waters of Sorrow, Anguish, and Mortal Pain

And fight the waves of Fear, Hatred, and Corruptions embrace once again

Riptides of Depression seek to rip my young life from me

Gales of Defeat push Clouds of Despair to hide the Light of Hope above me

Whirlpools of Anguish seek to dim the Soul living within me

Lightning and Thunder of Misunderstanding seek to deafen and blind the Heart inside me

But always I know that just for the moment I can beat my way back to the calm

And battle my way to the Silent Island in the middle of the crashing Storm

To strengthen my Heart and brighten my severely diminished Sight

To open my ears and clear my Mind from the clouded Storm of Life

Away from the great quaking Cliffs of Change and Uncertainty

To shield myself from the worst of Existence in our harsh Reality

But just for the moment I know I am safe here in my hide away

Sheltered here from those things that seeks to lead my Sanity astray

Away from the Tornadoes of Crime and the Earthquakes of Hate

To recline here and help me to understand and to realize it is only Fate

Life is uncertain and as stormy as it is often known to be

I know that hidden in the tempest tossed waters there is a place for me

Where I can go to recuperate from the utter Chaos of Life

To gaze at the Stars of Faith in the soft skies of a calm twilight

But I know that I must return to the Ocean of Life

But for now I am worry free.... even if it is only Just for The Moment.

The Greatest Of Emotions, Part II, Last First Kiss

September 13th, 2008
You were my first love. I admired your each and every action
I was pulled to you with the greatest of attraction
And you responded, just like a magnet you drew near
You, so beautiful, me so different, I had fear
But you put it all to a complete and quiet rest
You accepted my sure offer of friendship
We became close. To a fault they envied
They could not understand what it was you saw in me
But I knew what I saw in you: Perfect
Or as close as it was going to get.
The strength of my feelings for you grew
At the time I was naive and I realized and knew
That I could spend my life with you
This was love.
Sent crashing down upon me from above.
Cupid had loosed an arrow upon my heart
Were it stuck, and grew until it was a part
Of me.
Of course you had someone else
But I only saw myself
With you by my side
To have a greater life
Than the one I had at that time.
Your were my homie love and friend
I just wanted there to be a beginning
For loves sweet remorse
A quick intercourse
Of our joining.
You would have been my first
It was an almost aching thirst
I wanted you to quiet the fire of my love
You. Sent from above
But alas it wasn't meant to be
I moved away and didn't see
You. For a time
You would always cross my mind
Then one day I called. You Answered
And I my heart rejoiced that maybe I could be your
Romancer
But wait. Things had changed. You had become a mother
By the hand of some one other
I was shocked. But that quickly melted away
We agreed to spend the day
Together like that time not so far away
All too soon it was time for me return to my home
It was you and I and your daughter. Alone,
You beckoned me near
The pulse of my heart quickened, not with fear
You leaned in close. You kissed me.
Your lips against my own
Something I had grown
To not forsee
It suprised and Overjoyed me.
So quick but yet so long.
And my heart rang with song
I had awaited this
A tender kiss
From you
I was speechless I could only stare at you.
My heart raced. Thoughts scattered.
My heart had been battered.
But with a simple gesture of affection
You had cause a swift resurrection
Of my love for you. And on this I swear
I will always be there to show you tender care
But I now know you may never be mine
But I can still remember the shine
In your lovely eyes.
When I asked you why
You simply replied
"I knew you have been waiting for that."
Oh how love plays. But now we don't talk anymore
I still think of you. Sometimes my heart aches
But not as much as before.
We haven't grown apart
It's just events have kept us apart.
Things which we cannot control.
But I will forever remember our
Last. First Kiss.